TALKING POINT

Talking Point is a monthly column where our readers express their views on a subject or share their experiences of life giving an insight into all that is happening around us. In other words its all about taking a closer look at life through The Sip of Life.

PUNJABI’S IN CANADA – A VICTIM TO MARITAL DISCORDS

By Col Gursewak Singh (retd.)

I immediately accepted the proposal which entailed a visit to Canada. A visiting friend and relative from Canada proposed that I should conduct workshops on Stress Management for the Punjabi community living in Canada. The package was attractive as I was only to arrange for mine and my wife’s air tickets, while all other expenses in Canada for our stay for 45 days will be taken care of by my host. We arrived in Toronto by Air India flight on 9^th July 2010 to a warm welcome by our host, friends and relatives. We are taken to a palatial house built in the middle of more than two acre plot in the prestigious Castlemore area of Brampton. I was told there that three things, namely Weather, Women and Work, all starting with letter W are most un- predictable. As for as weather is concerned, temperature may fluctuate from minus 30 degrees in winter to 25 degrees in summer and it may start raining any time. The most pleasant season in Canada is from June to September.

Women are considered unpredictable as there are cases of married women leaving their husbands for better choice once well settled in their job. In semi-literate Punjabi families, some women feel suffocated and are not happy with double burden of work and taking care of family which may include old parents.

A few newly migrated ladies I spoke to told me that their life was better in India. They are generally confined to monotonous rigor of life except when the husband has compulsion to take her out to drive him back after he has enjoyed his drinks. (There is zero tolerance for drunken driving).

During my stay in Canada, I analyzed working relationship in Punjabi community taking in to consideration three generations; the elderly (senior citizens), middle aged and children.

Elderly people, who have migrated because of their children, have their roots in India and have not been fully able to reconcile with the western culture. The wide cultural gap with their grand children, who are born in Canada and very hectic and busy life style of other members of the family force them to lead very lonely, monotonous and exclusive life.

Middle aged generation is the one who migrated for work; they had to work very hard to settle down in foreign land. Some have done very well and have prosperous. They obviously have a cultural difference with their children who have been born and brought up in the western culture.

In our culture, there is a tendency to do a lot for our children. But all this runs against the western culture and none of the above are appreciated by the children.

They have their own mind and least expect others to interfere in their way of life. They know their right of calling police in case you scold or try to discipline them. The result is some of them become pampered, obese (due to bad eating habits and life style), indifferent and self-centered. The fact that the working parents do not have much time for their children only adds to the problem. This is enough to give a cultural shock to the parents. However, on the positive side, with the right environment, children have great potential for growth and have a bright future in the land of plenty.

Canada has a policy for multi-cultural society, which works to ensure that people’s customs and traditions are preserved and respected. There is a compartmentalization of various communities in Canada, with hardly any social interaction amongst them, except for the intellectual class.  Most Punjabis live in their own world. In fact, most have still a conservative mentality and old mind set. A typical way of social get-together is either at friend’s house or at a picnic spot on weekends and drink hard, eat mostly non-vegetarian food, and gossip.

From the number of cases I was referred to after one of my talks on Stress Management and Relationship, I found that marital discord leading to stress and depression is a major problem faced by the community, which need to be tackled by competent counsellors. Another cause of stress I found was due to a tension of the payment of monthly installments of heavy loan taken to purchase a house and a car, in case a dip in income in a particular month.

Col Gursewak Singh is a Chandigarh based stress management expert who offers his services to prominent corporates and also gives consultancy on the subject online on www.stressguruji.com

WINKU BABA

By Maitreyee Chowdhury

In the land of Sanyasis can Babas be far behind, nah not really. In the land that has successfully exported software guys, Babas are a lucrative lot, who have granted immediate global passport to words like Karma, Nirvana, OM..the list is practically endless. To the Indian who stays put in India, the foreign fascination for Na-ma-s-the is rather amusing, but what the heck, its India shining after all or so the papers say. Talk to foreigners and they are zapped by philosophies that range from OM to the Oming from the Yoga to Ayurveda, its all exotic and ooh lala time.

While talking to an older friend of mine, he updates me on to the latest gossip on babadom. Amidst talk of retirement plans and benefits I am informed by my rather in your face (like it-laugh it) friend, I’m headed towards babadom. What Dom I ask rather innocently, “arre yaar samjha kar”, it’s the latest fad. You become a Baba and you have the world at your feet plus the moolah raking in. He goes on to talk about hugging babas and their likes, with instant Nirvana services! In an age that sells almost everything instant, from sex to noodles that was but expected I guess. Rather seriously I asked this friend O’ mine, so what exactly are your plans? He says again (the same face mind you) its all in the plan babes, I’m not taking the risk of hugging people you know, what with these confused researchers and AIDS. You never know when they might zap you and say hugging leads to AIDS so am going to be far from it..I shall turn into Winku baba! Jai ho Winku Baba I encore.

Laughs aside the recent influx of Indian philosophers -sadhus whatever you call them is astonishing.  To top it all you now have these people fighting amongst themselves, be it the print or the electronic media you have now the fight of the lords. Lord help the go- betweens and the followers who are but mere spectators to these heavenly duels and it’s not long before, they follow the multi party democracy system we have and join hands in their mutual growth. In this rather multifarious growth of Babas, you have their disciples making everything from ashrams to providing the Benz for such people..depending on of course who’s TRP s are the season’s best!”

Why do we have to be Baba dependent I wonder, why do we need to worship them? At a recent so called ‘satsang party’ in my apartment, I was singled out since I refused to be a part of the Puja that involved giving flowers and showing incense to the portrait of Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. I simply didn’t see the reason why I should worship another human being. In case someone is a higher soul, I might listen to his discourse, admire him and go home, thank you very much. There are plenty of others who derive a lot of  peace and spiritual satisfaction from these discourses too, completely acceptable, but let them remain humans, lets not make them Godlike or perhaps un-Godlike, for too much adulation makes for un-Godliness of what probably started off a God like career path!

Philosophy is something that comes easily to me and so does loving, in loving people in and around me I need no one to teach me nor to imbibe Baba like qualities or to become a half God and expect to be worshiped.

Maitreyee is a poet and a creative writer and is a keen people watcher. She can be contacted at senoritta73@yahoo.com