He is ‘Gay’ & Happy…He is Vidur Kapur

He was nominated in 2008 for a “NewNowNext” Award by MTV Network’s Logo as “Brink of Fame: Comic”. He performed as part of the famous New York Comedy Festival where he was described as “a comedian to remember”. He has toured internationally but he has battled all his life just because he is a homosexual.

Vidur Kapur, a renowned comedian who is an Indian by birth but now based in New York opens his heart with The Sip of Life Moderator, Amit Roy about how he was subjected to teasing, bullying, ridiculing, being chased around forcing him to even suicide attempts. But he has overcome the hard times and has made a mark by being a renowned performer and that too not in his own country and today he is lauded for his work in spreading happiness around!

When and how did you come to know that you were a gay?

I love the way Indians say when did you come to know that you were “a gay” instead of when did you come to know that you were gay? “a gay” like its a disease. It sounds like “when did you come to know that you were “a diabetic”. Please firstly tell people how to ask the question properly. Cut the “a gay” just “gay” will suffice. Ok! I knew I was attracted to the same sex since I was about five but had no idea about sex or that this was sexual attraction. I guess when I was thirteen in India I learned from classmates what a “homo” is and that is when I came to know that I am “a gay” in your words!

As we know, you faced a lot of problems while in school, please share with us, what all you had to go through while in school?

What didn’t I go through in school? Teasing, bullying, propositioning, ridiculing. Being chased around being called “homo oy homo oy homo” suicide attempts, being called “sissy criminal” being called “mummy’s darling” by class teachers in the 2nd grade, being called “Miss Kapur” in the 9th grade. I was very confused about being attracted to boys and tried to act like a girl to justify it so people wouldn’t think I was “a gay”. I guess that’s what got me so much attention in school because I would go to school with make up on and shave my legs and I wanted to be a sex symbol. I did become a sex symbol but along with it came a lot of humiliation, bullying and severe disapproval.

What was the reaction of your family and friends to this? 

My family thought that I brought it upon myself because of things I was doing to provoke this response. Friends would judge me and torment me. One group of friends completely stopped talking to me one day, all six of them on the same day because they decided that they didn’t want to be associated with a “pansy”.

Have you ever encountered an embarrassing situation because of you being a gay, especially when you openly accept it?

There you go again with your “a gay”. There is nothing to be embarrassed about when you openly accept something. People are embarrassed when they have something to hide. If you have nothing to hide and are proud of whom you are, how can you be embarrassed? So the answer is NO! I haven’t encountered an embarrassing situation because of me being “a gay”!!

How have things changed for people like you? Is there any way you are trying to spread a movement for acceptance of gays in a conservative society like India?

I left the country when I was young to study. Initially I went into the closet in England and focused on academia graduating from the London School of Economics and going for graduate studies to the University of Chicago. Things changed once I came out in that I was able to begin to live a normal life and to have fun and have friends, but I was still pursuing a corporate career. I guess coming out has several phases because eventually I had to come out about being a performer. There are many kinds of gay people. Gay people can be in all kinds of professions, they can be bankers, cab drivers, comedians, actors, liberal, conservative, rich, poor. I think India has changed a lot since when I was growing up. People are now openly talking about gay issues and families of gay people are talking about it. . I guess just by speaking up through my stand up comedy I am contributing to the movement. I have by default become a role model and have been interviewed by a lot of newspapers and been the cover story of a lot of major publications in India. Being an openly gay celebrity gives you an automatic platform where people want to hear your thoughts and opinions.

How and when did you meet your Jewish boyfriend with whom you live?

I met him at the beach at the end of summer 2003 and we have been together since.

How did you think of being a comedian and that too in the US?

I lived in the US, and I was working in the corporate world. I was yearning to do things I was passionate about and be more creative. As part of my self-discovery and exploration I took a class in stand up comedy in Manhattan in 2001, a day before 9/11 was the first class. I have been doing stand up comedy since. I went full time in 2007. It took me several years and getting some television and somewhat of a name before I decided to go full time.

What is the theme of your performances?

There is no real theme. I talk about things that are funny. I talk about life and observations through my eyes. Its my perspective on the world. As part of that I talk about being gay and my experiences growing up in India and my family. I also talk about my experiences being the first openly gay comedian to tour some countries in the Middle East and other parts of the world where homosexuality is not discussed.

Where all have you performed? What has been the reaction of the audience?

I have performed all over the world. From the US and Canada to England and Ireland to S. Africa, Bahrain, Dubai, the Caribbean, India, and several other countries. The reactions are varied. India has always been very receptive and enjoyed me thoroughly. Some of the other countries such as Trinidad and Tobago have been more challenging. It took me a couple of shows before it learned how to connect with them. In general though, the reactions have been good and it’s been a tremendous learning experience for me. Its always fun to be treading new ground in a country.

What are you future plans? Will you continue to be a comedian?

My future plans are to continue touring as a comedian and doing live stand up comedy but also to continue doing more work on television and in film as an actor both in the US and in India or wherever opportunities arise. I would like to continue to become a global name and would like to continue to do work that creates awareness and eliminates ignorance and prejudice in the world.

Vidur will be in India in September as a part of his International Tour and will be performing in metros. For knowing more about him you can visit his website www.vidurkapur.com